They say if you don’t have haters, you’re doing it wrong. Perhaps. But it sure is something I am never cavalier about. Who wants to deal with haters? I know I don't. But early into 2017, I came to a sad realization that no matter what we do in life, there will always be people in this world waiting for us to lose… people who will stab us at the back and do everything to pull us down. We don't even have to be a Kardashian to have a hater. One of the many harsh realities of life, truth be told.
Taylor Swift said "Shake It Off" and I thought, why the heck not? Get a thicker skin while we're at it, you know? But as soon as negativity rears its head, a song with a catchy beat can't quite make it alright. The truth is, to rise above the negativity is harder than it sounds. Just recently, I caught the wind of hate and found myself confronted by it. For a moment, I weighed myself down with what I did to merit such negative feedback. I've reacted poorly and this triggered so much anger that led to even more frustrations until it was so overwhelming, I had to flip my entire perspective right away. In hindsight though, the whole experience toughened me a little bit and I begun to see that the people who smile to my face and talks badly about me to others as soon as I turn my back, are nothing but a part of my life’s cathartic growth. Incidentally, I learned a thing or two about these one-dimensional blobs of hatred and discovered that...
- Haters can be our teachers. In my case, I learned to free myself from judgment. There is a fine line between a constructive criticism and a personal attack from people who can't help but cave in to the twinge of ego. If they refuse to engage with you in a dialogue, they're not a critic but a hater. Surprisingly, they can teach us to love ourselves even more, cultivate the strength we never knew we have and just flourish far above our perceived flaws.
- Haters are the sandpapers in our lives. We can insist for comfort but then forfeit the opportunity to improve something in us because as sandpapers, our haters help us smooth the rough edges of our character. Fight fire with fire, I once told myself, but then what? Harry Truman said it best “Fame is a vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today may curse tomorrow and only one thing endures – character.” And CHARACTER counts!
- Haters point us to the people who truly matters. When our haters are in the throes of their negative spin, trying so hard to knock us off our horses, there are also people who will come to our aid, who will defend us in the first glimpse of disparagement, who will dry our tears during our setbacks and will be present to celebrate our triumphs. To be surrounded with people who build us up is truly a blessing we should not take for granted.
