Dear Teens: An Open Letter to Those I Had the Opportunity to Teach As Children
Thursday, September 19, 2013Walking into a room full of animated kids, whose age range from 6 to 12 years, for my first stint in the ministry as a children’s choir teacher was a life-defining moment. Clueless of what to expect, my heart was racing and pounding. Excitement, edginess, anxiety, delight and the what-nots were tangled into one big ball of perplexity that when I opened my mouth to speak, I quickly realized I had no idea of what I was doing. I was a teen myself, 17 to be exact and I was going to be a teacher. To the kids who first made me feel like I’m a real teacher (circa '07)… oblivious and inexperienced as I was. Whatever feat and wherever place teaching would take me, I know I’d always look back on that very moment I met all of you. Written with genuine care and affection, this one is for all of you.
Dear Teens,
I would like to take a few moments to scribble down a word for you. Since you are in a crucial stage, in which certain values have to be introduced, I wholly believe it’s but necessary that someone tells you these.
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| Image Credit: http://batpoopcrazy.com/ |
You guys, by far, dominate my Facebook and Twitter feeds like super crazy! I look at you in these social medias and take in how time flew by, quite dumbfounded and pretty baffled, to say the least, by the changes the years has brought. Suddenly you kids are teenagers… dramatic, irrational and impulsive. It’s the awkward growth spurt, I get it. Our brain continues to change throughout life and the huge leaps in development takes place during adolescence so, trust me, I totally get it. I was in that stage too. Between you and me, I think I had it worst. While you incessantly express your frustrations via Twitter and put your whole life out on Facebook (I mean, who doesn’t these days?), I was silently questioning my faith on humanity when I was your age. So, I have to give you a pat on the back somehow. Please understand that when I say I get it, I really do. Sarcasm not included. Puberty is kicking in, this I know. It means you are starting to make your way in becoming young adults. Not quite there yet but you’re on your way and as you go through this phase, allow your good ‘ol former teacher {and Ate, first and forever} to leave you with 10 things I know to be true.
1. You should understand that no matter how tall you have sprouted or how grown-up you dress, you are still in a developmental period. Turn to your parents for guidance. Listen to your church leaders. Pay attention to what your teachers have to say or whoever responsible adults who sincerely cares about you, because you will need all the help you can get in threading this stage and surviving all that teen drama. As Proverbs 11:14 puts it, “… in the multitude of counselors there is safety”.
2. Teens like you process information with the AMYGDALA {an almond-shaped part of the brain, nestled deep in the back} known as the instinctual, EMOTIONAL part of the brain. So, when you try to make a decision, your emotions tends to take over. While you think you’re old enough to run your own life, think again. Your brains are simply not yet equipped to think through things in the same way we adults, do. Until your still-developing PREFRONTAL CORTEX {rational part of your brain} takes control of the Amygdala, accept our genuine offers of help and straight-to-the-point criticism and TAKE. TIME. TO. LISTEN.
3. Don’t ever think parents/guardians only exist to suck all the fun out of life, especially when they won’t let you go on a road trip with some questionable friends. If anything, these people, who so good-naturedly and affectionately raised you, are your biggest cheerleaders in life. Your happiness is their happiness first. They watch your back like no close friends would. You may feel like they’re too strict but what you don’t know is, they only have your best interests at heart. Appreciate them now while you still have the time because life is too short for you to take them for granted.
4. Scrap the idea of peer pressure you have in mind. According to some neuroscientists and psychologists {feel free to Google this info I’m about to break to you all}, teens like you, don’t feel peer pressure, you feel PEER PLEASURE! Peer approval has been shown to be highly rewarding to your teen brains. The pleasure centers of your brain are most active when you get validation from someone your own age. But, ditch that burst of feel-good chemicals, I say! Peer pressure is something I easily dodged in my teens because I have that feeling of Invictus-ability {see W.E. Henley’s poem}, haha! Whatever that means. I don't even know how peer pressure didn't get the best of me but my words to you, remember the noble things you’ve learned from your parents/guardians/teachers/other mentors as a child, stand by it and be comfortable with your choices.
5. During puberty, hormonal changes occur and they magnify your emotions. Research says, your Amygdala gangs up with all these kinds of hormones, pumping them through your puberty-ravaged bodies, leaving you feeling all sorts of things including moodiness and unpredictability. So, when you think you’re in love with the boy {or girl} whom you have a crush on for the longest of time… chances are, you’re really not. Don't complicate things way too much. I would say 99% that it's not real love but just infatuation. You’re just being over taken with strong feelings because of your hormones and you probably don’t have a concrete idea about the difference between that and the real thing yet.
6. Take it easy on the Social Media. There is a fine line between self-expression and over-sharing. I am a huge social media enthusiast myself. I believe it’s a great tool for sharing, communicating and keeping in touch, except when it’s misused, it can create a lot of damage. Be sure to protect your privacy, be cautious on what you post and always think twice. Social media mistakes are hard to undo. Unfortunately, Papa and Mama can’t help you out when that happens. There’s way more trouble online as it is in real life and they’re just waiting for you if you’re careless. Express yourself, sure. Have fun, no problem… but be careful out there. Moderation is the key!
7.Girls, dressing modestly is not an outdated cultural standard, especially if you’re a Filipino. The profit-driven media’s fixation on bodies tell us otherwise and when you think of modesty in terms of being “restrictive” you need to consider the personal rewards of it — self-respect and honor. Take it from Pope Pius XII, he said: The more elegant you will be, and the more pleasing, if you dress with simplicity and discreet modesty. Besides, it feels way lot better to be noticed because of your mind and personality, rather than your body.
8.Boys, chivalry doesn’t have to be dead and simple courtesies are never trivial and old-fashioned. Manners are the grease that allows society to function and using manners is a sign of respect for people. So by all means, open a door for a girl at your school, help out your teacher with the piles of books he's carrying down the hall, gently lead your Mama by the elbow when she’s tottering on her stiletto, help the elders cross the street, give up your seat to someone who needs it most and reclaim the ways of the gentlemen that has been a seemingly lost art in today’s generation.
9. There’s nothing wrong with following the rules. This is something I wish someone told me when I was a teen and now, I’m telling you. Your parents/guardians set this structures and rules to look out for your safety. By the time you graduate college {or when you're in college}, you’ll have all the time in the world to exercise the freedom to do what you want, which I hope you will, in a responsible way but for now, learn to live by the rules. It’ll serve you better in the future, believe me.
10. As a disciple of reading, I implore you to read! Find a good book you can get your hands on, sit down, prop your feet up on a table if you like, open it and for goodness sake, READ! I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m hounding you or something but if it does? My apologies. I simply want you to know that reading is not just important while you are in school, good reading skills are essential to future success in the workplace too. It has countless life-long benefits including prevention of Alzheimer’s, enhances your memory, reduce stress, generate good mood, it makes you more cultured, {haha!} among others. I also believe that in order for us to write well and speak well, we should read first as reading teaches thinking. Come up with your own conclusion on certain things, form an opinion, discover new interests, see the world and for the pleasure of it, READ.
Keep in mind that the habits you form now will stick with you for the rest of your life. Teenage years may seem challenging but it's not that bad either, you just have to make the most of it and enjoy it before things get serious {like paying the bills, decision-making with lasting effect and the what-nots}. Don’t rush things. Savor the moment. Be responsible. Stay on your studies. Aim high. Memorize Philippians 4:13 by heart and you’ll do just fine. You'll see ;)
Grace to you,
Miss Anie
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