Single And Relatively 30
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
“Ding” pops the Facebook chat box.
“Hi Ma’am Best!” Sab narrates.
“How’s your love life?” asked her acquaintance without so much as a slight prelude.
“Next question please!” Sab sarcastically replied, feeling rather nonplussed.
At my Ma's birthday dinner, while having a mouth-watering meal that includes grilled tilapia, kimchi fried rice and ensaladang talong, Sab and I found ourselves deep in conversation about our singleness and how we feel like we’ve reached the point where our lack of a relationship is gradually turning into a concern to others who seemingly look forward to the day a guy would finally sweep us off our freakin’ feet.
For some reasons, 2014 was marked by several conversations like that one. As singles, Sab and I had been constantly asked why we’re single, mostly by someone who isn’t and more often than not, our single status is usually met with shock. Never mind that you’re rocking a non-teaching post this school year or that you’re actually co-writing a book, because these days, relationship status seems like the quintessential thing that can happen to you once you roll in your 30’s. We may be wrong but we sure as hell get that a lot from other people. These stereotypes, misconceptions and pressures attached to being single and relatively 30 leave us feeling quite frankly, meh. A teenage girl, who thinks of me as someone creative, fierce and eloquent also thinks I’m missing out on life because I’m single. Imagine that. Surely, someone creative, fierce and eloquent, not to mention funny, could inevitably find someone to settle with, right? Until then, not to sound like a conceited being, I know I am my own best company… for now. I mean, I have four older sisters in their mid 30’s who are all singles for Pete’s sake! There's really no point of panicking. As to why we’re single? Perhaps because we never forwarded those chain messages in 2008, that or, we take marriage seriously, or maybe we're used to being on our own?
Of course, I am a woman after all and like most women, I pondered about romance and that someone who would make my heart goes giddy up. I also thought about marriage and have fantasies of who would be in my own wedding party and picket-fenced house overlooking narrow brick paved streets. Heck, I already picked out names for my future kids, Peri and Exodus, haha! I'm all for Destiny’s Child’s song ‘Cater 2 U’ and I totally believe there’s nothing anti-feminist about wanting to cater to the person you love. But, you see, I am at the season of my life where I fully embrace being single. It’s neither lonely nor isolated. It’s not a kind of revolutionary concept but a SEASON. At times, a bad bout of PMS would tell me otherwise but of all the crazy things I would never allow myself to do when the ‘feels’ overwhelm me, is to find a husband just because society expects me to. I strongly believe that I can’t and won’t settle until it’s RIGHT and that, when I get there, it'll be for a life time. I just want to be able to bring home a bearded young man with Napoleon's brain who will be able to firmly shake my parents hands, look them in the eye and say “Nice to Meet you Mr. and Mrs. Ordillo,” without ever wetting himself. Is that even too much to ask?
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