The Suddenness of Everything
Monday, April 06, 2020 |
| Quarantine Life, Week 3 |
It was already two o’clock in the morning. Sab and I were very much awake like it was only seven p.m. We’re quite dead set on overseeing the virtual instructions that this school year has been reduced to but the suddenness of everything has thrown our daily routine a little off. We’ve fixed ourselves a cup of instant noodles and played Only You on Netflix. I was keen on starting Crash Landing On You but Sab is never a fan of watching with subtitles. We've passed the opening credits of the movie when her phone rang. We looked at each other, bewildered. She was determined not to answer the call but her hand accidentally swiped the phone and a muffled voice can be heard from the other end.
“Beth?” she said as she picked up the phone.
It was her younger sister. She called to tell Sab that their sister-in-law just found their brother lying unconscious on the floor by the bed. Chaos ensued on the other line and any sense of order diminished as everyone made haste to take their brother to the nearest hospital. Then, Beth hung up. Sab was already in tears as we held hands and prayed like we’ve never prayed before.
……….
I met Sab in 2010. I’ve just wrapped up my first year of teaching at the school my Mama founded and that summer, she dropped by to submit her CV at the office. We passed each other at the hall with a quick, polite nod and ten years later, we’ve become great friends, crazy roomates, kindred-spirits and bona fide soul sisters. Sab is currently our school principal and has stuck with us through thick and thin. She is Proverbs 17:17 personified having seen her fierce loyalty firsthand… no agenda, no ulterior motives whatsoever, just a life-giving friendship.
……….
We sat in silence, stomachs fluttering with dread. Then, her phone buzzed. My friend curled up into a ball, covered herself with a blanket and started to cry quietly. That early morning, their family suffered a devastating tragedy, the very sudden passing of her younger brother, from acute pancreatic hemorrhage. He was in his thirties. One day, Julius was just telling Sab his plan to butcher the annual pig when she comes home for the summer break in their hometown of Natividad in Pangasinan, and the next day, he was gone. It is so surreal to grieve a sudden loss in these pandemic-blighted times. Sab and her family did everything they could so she can come home for her younger brother’s funeral but the circumstance just won’t warrants it.
I know the reality of life. I never presume our longevity is without limit but today, I am reminded of its haunting fragility and how breakable we are.
Over the weekend, her brother was finally laid to rest. Sab joined her family via Facebook Live and immediately after, she went to start working on her online classes the same day.
I know the reality of life. I never presume our longevity is without limit but today, I am reminded of its haunting fragility and how breakable we are.
Over the weekend, her brother was finally laid to rest. Sab joined her family via Facebook Live and immediately after, she went to start working on her online classes the same day.
“Does it still make you cry?” I asked naively.
“My tears won’t bring his life back. So, there’s that,” Sab said wistfully.
Her words brought me to when I lost Mommy (my grandmother in actuality, the woman who raised me), to pneumonia in 2012. Eight years later and that loss still stings because one can never really move on. We can only strive to find and create a new normal. But the grief stays, it just becomes bearable and blends to the background of our lives, like a music playing from another room.
24 comments
Well written story. Are you writing fictions or is it for real?
ReplyDeleteThank you, Charlotte. I'm afraid this is real life. :(
DeleteI love life and hate death, but it's a reality I've come to accept. Unfortunately, it is a reality that many cannot get a solid grip of--and I understand that.
ReplyDeleteThat's true... her tears wont bring him back. But it's really also very hard for others.
Very well written and the sadness can be felt all through too.
ReplyDeletevery nice story. it is sad indeed. it made me feel sorry for the character
ReplyDeleteOh no, I am so sorry to hear that. Death is inavitable part of life, unfortunately. Stay safe and hugs to you and Beth!
ReplyDeleteIt is really well written. I liked reading it. Keep posting such amazing stuff.
ReplyDeleteoh my I actually thought this was real! Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteThat experience is relatable. Losing a loved one separated by distance is indeed big stabbing pain. I could remember way back summer of 2002, when my mom was confined in UST and we are in the province. The last call we received is if would rush there and catch her before her last breath. Our faith to our Creator really would give us the strength to move forward and survive the sudden loss.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of a family member :( I also have a boss of mine too who is grieving during this time. Aww sending virtual comforts to you and Sab!
ReplyDeleteMany years ago, the younger and only brother of one of my elementary school friends passed away suddenly in his sleep. Years after in 2016, a cousin who is also the youngest and only brother in a family of 7 passed away after a car crash. A few months later, my husband's youngest sibling, a brother also passed away. They were all teenagers.
ReplyDeleteI have a younger brother, he is the youngest, and he is the only brother I have. Sometimes I'm too hard on him but this article reminded me of how precious he is in all our lives. After our cousin passed away, I hugged my brother to let him know I love him. I'm not a "mushy feelings" kind of girl to my family but that day, I just broke down and opened up my love for my bro. Sending virtual hugs and love to Sam and her family.
This is a very heartfelt story, I am sending my condolences to Sab. It felt like Sab represent all of our friends who are very dear to us. We couldn't just take it if they are sad and would totally comfort them in one of their saddest moments. I hope Sab and you be OK the soonest.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry reading this. My condolences to your friend and her family. This resonates with me as we also lost my mother-in-law early April. But we can't go home because... Covid19... I shared the story in my blog, too and as I said there grief has no shelf life... when the after-effect of Covid settles down, there will be a tsunami of tears especially for those who have been deprived of moments of proper mourning.
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought it was a novel but then it was real. I am sorry and my condolences to your friend and her family. This reminds me when my father's sudden death due to heart attack. That was so fast and sad. We just met few months ago and then he left us again.
ReplyDelete"My tears won’t bring his life back." - Masakit na katotohanan.. pero life must go on. Everything happens for a reason... alalahanin na lang natin yung masasayang bagay na kasama ang atin mga mahal sa buhay na pumanaw na.
ReplyDeleteDeath is really inevitable and it doesn't have any warning. What I learned from watching Hi Bye, Mama is that we should live life without regrets. I mean let's show our family and friends how much we love them while they are alive.
ReplyDeleteLosing a love one is the most painful feeling and experience. People say it goes easier with time but the truth is, we just learn to deal and cope with grief over time. What makes me strong everyday since I lost my dad is to always "live a life he'll be proud of."
ReplyDeleteThis just reminded me that everything is temporary and that it can be gone in just a snap of a finger. My condolences to Sab and her family.
ReplyDeleteCondolence for your lost. I could imagine the pain in every words you use. Everything will be okay, just pray for it.
ReplyDeleteAwww. Sometimes all we can do is accept. But its okay to cry until you feel the final push to let go. Hope you were able to cope up with it peacefully. Just pray. Cheer up!
ReplyDeletemy prayers for your friend, Sab. it is a very difficult time to lose someone at this moment. and with how you felt, i guess you move forward, but you cant really move on from the sadness. it will always be there, the paid of losing, but you will smile because thats what they want you to feel.
ReplyDeleteThis is really heartbreaking, ramdam ko yung sakit habang binabasa ko to. I hope you, especially your friend, will still move forward. Mahirap mawalan ng minamahal, double din ang sakit sa panahon ngayon :(
ReplyDeleteThis is beautifully written and i offer my condolences to your friend's sudden loss. I actually don't know what it feels like to lose a love one who was super close to you. It must hurt a lot and i hope that through time you guys can heal.❤️
ReplyDeleteGreat write up! It really made feel melancholic. I know it still makes you sad everytime you thought of the things that could never be replaced, but the memories will be remained engraved within us. I think that's enough. :)
ReplyDelete